EPISODE 3/5 - MINI-SERIES : Discussion about the book 'Accept, value and empower yourself' by David B Carter

 Hello wonderful butterflies of this world 🦋,

It's Ash here, fluttering back into your feed with some self-love and mental health talk.

There's a new episode on the 'Ash Unmasked Podcast'! 

This is the third episode in a five-part mini-series about building self-esteem. In this mini-series, we explore the book 'Accept, Value and Empower Yourself' by David Bonham Carter. 

If you’ve been keeping up with our mini-series, you know we’ve been breaking down this gem of a book chapter by chapter. Each chapter contains exercises that we find very pertinent, we invite you to pause and reflect about theses exercises, if you'd like to. If you’re not familiar with the book (or you’re just curious what this series is all about), check out the intro episode 🔗HERE🔗.

🎧 Listen to this episode on Spotify here 🎧:

This episode explores the third chapter of this book, called 'look after yourself'. Spoiler alert, it’s not just about spa days and fuzzy robes (though we’re not mad at those either). 

⚠️ Note: If you’re working through trauma or a mental health condition, please be mindful, some exercises can be emotionally triggering. Go at your own pace, respect your limits and don’t hesitate to seek support from professionals.

The big idea? If we don’t believe we’re worth caring for… we probably won’t take care of ourselves and our needs. Because we usually don’t take care of what we don’t value.

When we ignore our needs, we push through burnout, we skip meals, silence our feelings, we're teaching ourselves that we don’t matter. That’s dangerous.

Real self-care starts with recognizing the patterns, and challenging the thoughts that make us believe that our needs come last.

Back to Basics: What Do You Need?

The author uses Maslows hierarchy of needs as a tool to help us reflect on our needs.

• Are your basic needs met? Food, sleep, connection, purpose, safety, love?
• What’s missing? 
• And what would shift if you started meeting that need on purpose?

Personally? We realised we were craving more connection. Authentic moments with friends.

🎧 Listen to this episode on Youtube here 🎧:

Self-Care is not just spa days: it’s structure, sleep, and saying no.

Practical, real self-care is:

✅ Eating well

✅ Moving our body

✅ Getting consistent sleep

✅ Avoiding overload

✅ Letting ourselves relax, guilt-free

It’s also speaking kindly to ourselves. Not the “toxic positivity” kind, but the “you’re human and still lovable” kind. We’ve been working on talking to ourselves like we’d talk to our best friend, and this helps us to be kinder.

About the structure... an important aspect is to not overdo it. If you fill every minute of your calendar, you're going to get SO stressed. We learned that the hard way. 😅

 

SLEEP:

Lack of sleep + low self-esteem = vicious cycle.

Poor rest = cloudy thoughts = bad decisions = inner critic on overdrive... You get the idea right?

Some simple shifts that might help sleep:

• No caffeine after early afternoon

• Set a wind-down routine (we love yoga for sleep!)

• Keep your sleep space comfy and cool

• Can’t sleep? Get up, write your worries, breathe, then return to bed gently

Sleep is not optional, it’s foundational. 

Final Thoughts

This chapter reminded us that:

• looking after ourselves isn’t selfish, it’s essential
• It’s how we show ourselves love
• It’s how we build self-trust
• It’s one of the first steps to build better self-esteem

Here are a few gentle promises we made to ourselves:

• Move for at least 30 minutes, five days a week
• Spend more time in nature
• Schedule a totally unstructured “Ash Day”
• No punishments when failing, just reminders to reassess

📆 Tune in next Saturday at 10AM, for the fourth episode of this mini-series, where we will discuss the second chapter of the book, called 'Understand yourself'.

Join the Conversation 

What are your thoughts on the subject? Any ideas for futures episodes? Feel free to leave comments below connect with us on social media!

• Don’t forget to subscribe to Ash Unmasked on Spotify and YouTube to stay updated on new episodes.

We can't wait to unmask more of this life journey with y'alls. 

Thanks so much for stopping by the pod!

Until next time, peace out, take care of yourselves out there and keep fluttering your wings 🦋

Remember, Self-care isn’t a checklist. It’s a daily practice.

🔗 Links & Resources:

• Butterfly Shots Rebranded Portfolio

• 🎧 Ash Unmasked Podcast on Spotify

• 🎧 Ash Unmasked Podcast on Youtube

• ✍️ The BLOG about the intro episode 🔗HERE🔗

• Pay What you Can Peer Support

📸 Big News: Butterfly Shots Is Rebranding!

Our Butterfly Shots Photography is getting a glow-up!

While the website is still under construction, our new portfolio is now live! 

This relaunch is all about Ash and her camera, out in the wild having fun again.

Capturing authentic moments, in bold contrasts and vivid colours.

A Little Extra Support Goes a Long Way

One last thing: If you’re struggling right now, you don’t have to do it alone. We shared something on the pod that we really believe in:

Pay What You Can Peer Support 

These are virtual groups where you can talk, vent, share, with others who get it. It’s accessible, inclusive, and judgement-free. Check them out if that resonates with you.